High-Conflict Personalities: The Hidden Engine Behind Adult Bullying
Some bullying doesn’t come with loud threats or schoolyard insults. It comes with guilt-trips, gaslighting, and group sabotage. And more often than not, it comes from someone with a high-conflict personality.
What Are High-Conflict Personalities?
Coined by therapist and attorney Bill Eddy, high-conflict personalities are individuals who:
- Think in extremes: friend vs. enemy, win vs. lose
- Refuse accountability and constantly shift blame
- React with intense emotion and dramatics
- Use emotional manipulation to control their environment
They show up in every environment: families, workplaces, neighborhoods, even leadership roles. This type of bullying doesn’t just harm reputations—it fractures communities.
Why High-Conflict Personalities Thrive in Toxic Environments
Many high-conflict personalities are drawn to settings where:
- Social bullying is normalized
- Power structures allow unchecked behavior
- Speaking up gets punished instead of protected
In toxic workplaces or dysfunctional families, these individuals create chaos to keep control. They often weaponize emotion, create scapegoats, and trigger reactive abuse in their targets—just to flip the blame.
The Emotional Impact of High-Conflict Bullies
The psychological toll of this behavior mirrors what’s seen in emotional bullying and covert abuse:
- Anxiety, hypervigilance, and self-doubt
- Social isolation and shame
- Long-term trauma and CPTSD symptoms
And because high-conflict personalities rarely operate alone, their bullying becomes contagious—fueling groupthink, silence, and fear.
Recognize the Pattern. Disrupt the Cycle.
Understanding high-conflict personalities is a powerful first step in breaking the cycle of adult bullying. Their tactics are strategic—but so is your awareness.
If you’ve been targeted by someone like this, know this: You’re not overreacting. You’re being emotionally outmaneuvered by someone who depends on your silence.
Stand in your truth. Speak it. Let’s create an echo that disrupts the chaos.
