What Is Triangulation in Bullying?
Triangulation is one of the most manipulative forms of bullying. Instead of confronting someone directly, the bully drags in a third person — spreading rumors, playing favorites, or turning siblings, peers, or coworkers against one another. This tactic creates division, leaving one person isolated as the “scapegoat” while another is rewarded as the “favorite.”
👉 Learn more about Triangulation
Research on Triangulation in Families and Adolescents
Parental Conflict and Adolescents
A longitudinal study of 416 adolescents (ages 11–15) found that when kids were pulled into parental conflict through triangulation, they showed significant increases in anxiety and depression over time (Buehler & Welsh, 2009).
👉 Learn more on the Mental Health Impact of Bullying
Family Systems and Mental Health
A meta-analysis of 49 studies covering ~15,000 families revealed a clear link between interparental conflict and triangulation behaviors. Kids exposed to this dynamic reported higher rates of internalizing symptoms like anxiety, depression, and relational difficulties (Fosco et al., 2020).
Triangulation in Sibling and Peer Bullying
Sibling Bullying
About 35% of U.S. children report experiencing sibling bullying, with scapegoating, exclusion, and alliances as common tactics (Coyle et al., 2023).
Peer Bullying
19% of students ages 12–18 report being bullied, most often through rumors or social exclusion, both core forms of triangulation (NCES).
How Triangulation Manifests in Friend Groups and Workplaces
- Friend Groups: Gossip, backstabbing, or turning peers against one another.
- Workplace Bullying: Managers playing coworkers against each other or rewarding one employee while scapegoating another.
- Families: Parents comparing siblings or using children as pawns in marital conflict.
Why Triangulation Is So Dangerous
Triangulation thrives on secrecy, silence, and division. By splitting people into roles of “favorite” and “scapegoat,” it prevents unity and leaves victims isolated. Over time, this pattern is linked to:
- Increased anxiety and depression
- Social withdrawal and isolation
- Lasting relational difficulties into adulthood
Triangulation = Psychological Manipulation
Triangulation isn’t just gossip… it’s psychological manipulation that leaves deep scars. From families to schools to workplaces, its effects ripple across generations.
By calling it what it is and refusing to play the roles bullies assign, we can begin to break their control.
Let’s make an echo that exposes triangulation… manipulation in disguise.
